awesome jokes - be careful

1. Signboard outside a prostitute's house: Married MEN not allowed.
We serve the needy, not the greedy...


2.Yesterday's news : An aunty was raped while jogging.
Today's news: More aunties found jogging.

3. How do Municipal Buses help in Family Planning?
By spreading the Message: KRIPYA PEECHHE SE CHADHIYE

4. Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
SITUATORY WARNING: Objects inside the T-Shirt are larger than they
appear from outside.

5. Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khuli dekh Ladkiyan zor se
hasne lagi.
Masterji bole : Zyada he he ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga.

6. Santa was fondling a lady in a crowded bus.
Lady : Excuse me, aap achha nahi kar rahe hain!
Santa : Itni bheed mein is se achha nahi ho sakta.


7. Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for
identification parade.
When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta shout together: "Yahi thee,
Yahi thee"


8. Judge : Why do u want divorce?
Banta : She doesn't satisfy me in bed!
Preeto (Wife) : Tu yahan ka collector laga hai? Sari colony khush hai, ik
tumari agg nahin bujati.


9.Jeeto was going to Chandigarh for vacations. At the time of packing
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi condom
saath le jaa rahi hai.

10. Pappu meets papa Santa on stairs of a KOTHA.
Pappu: Papa aap yahan kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe
jaate!


11. Santa: Murge kaise diye?
Vendor: Rs 50, Rs 40 n Rs 10
Santa: Rs 10, itna sasta kyon?
Vendor: Sir ise AIDS hai.
Santa: De do mujhe ... khana hai, rape thode hi karna hai!


12. Santa standing in balcony without shirt.
Banta, "Wah Santa ji kya chest hai.
Santa, "Eh tan kuch nahi andar ja ke apni BHABI KE dekh.


13. Santa runing after a Bus, catches it n asks the Driver:"Ye bus teri Ma
lagti hai?"
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To kya Behan lagti hai?
Driver : Nahin.
Santa : To phir chadne kyun nahin deta?

gujju wives- n0n veg

Gujju Wives:

Once 4 gujju wives met at a party talking about their husbands new
cellular phones....

First gujju wife says to others... "Maro pati ne pass mota
laura(motorola) che!....

Second gujju wife replies.."Aree sirf mota laura thi kya hoga?
errection(ERICSSON) chahiye!....

So the third gujju wife stepa up & says..."aree mota laura bhi thick
hai, errection bhi thick hai, Par semen(seimens) nahi to kya fayda?...

And then the fourth said..
"Mota laura bhi ho, errecson bhi ho, semen bhi ho, lekin na
kiya(nokiya) tho kya fayda??..